you had me at hello
*moby's house*
0700hrs: moby wakes up from his beautiful slumber by the sound of his alarm clock
0715hrs: moby really wakes up after 3 snooze buttons
0725hrs: moby finishes quick shower, irons clothes
0745hrs: moby steps out of his house with a bounce in his step
*side gate of moby's estate*
0800hrs: moby sees 2 couples in front of him in taxi queue
0805hrs: moby sick of waiting for taxis so starts to call for a booking
*comfort cablink office*
0806hrs
comfort cablink bastard (ccb): alert alert! we have a 10/40 from moby's mobile phone again! all hands on deck! i repeat, all hands on deck!!!
singtel operations bastard(sob): roger that. all hands on deck. on my count! 3, 2, 1, hit it!
ccb: yes sir! *hits button labelled "thank you response"*
*side gate of moby's estate*
0807hrs
moby's mobile phone: "thank you for calling comfort cablink...all our operators are busy at the moment...your call is important to us...please hold for assistance..."
moby: cheebye. important kilan lah...
*comfort cablink office*
0820hrs
sob: what's the status report gentlemen?
ccb: i detect a strong signal of discontent and impatience with mr. moby, sir!
sob: steady, steady...we're almost there...
ccb: i don't know, sir...you're treading on a thin line here...he could break at any moment...
sob: wait...wait.........ok...and now!
ccb: yes sir! *hits button labelled "ohmygod lousy operator"*
*side gate of moby's estate*
0835hrs
ohmygod lousy operator (olo): do you need a cab now mr. moby?
moby: yeah lah!
olo: where are you now, sir?
moby: what??? i have been waiting for the stupid speed-call thingy that i automatically get transferred to when i dial your number to get me a cab at my estate, and you're telling me that you still don't know where the hell i am after freaking 25 minutes???
olo: err...is it...err...moby's estate?
moby: yes!!! now can i get a taxi???
olo: where are you headed off to sir?
moby: moby's office.
olo: please hold for your taxi number...
moby: argh!!!!!! sigh...
*comfort cablink office*
0836hrs
ccb: what should we do, sir?
sob: keep moby on for as long as you can...the seconds will tick away so that we can charge him for the extra time that he's using our line...just imagine what those extra 20 cents per minute could do for your bonus!
ccb: but, but...
sob: no buts about it! your ass will be on the line if you screw this up! no puns intended.
ccb: wah lan eh...
*side gate of moby's estate*
0845hrs
moby: that's it. fuck you. *had enough of waiting for a taxi booking and hangs up*
0847hrs
comfort taxi cab driver: where to boss?
moby: moby's office please...
*moby's mobile phone rings*
moby: hello?
moby's mobile phone: hello, is this moby? i'm ccb from comfort cablink operations division, staff number 53490...
moby: what you want?
moby's mobile phone: i didn't mean to hurt you!!! just when i thought i was out, they pulled me back in!!!
moby: you had me at hello. *hangs up*
call me a conspiracy theorist, but i hate all call centres...
6 comments:
looks likely u have been blacklisted by Comfort...
hahahaha good TLAs: (ccb, sob, olo)
Hahahha.
I hate call centres very much too.
It does not help very much when I just kena fly kite by cabbie uncle the other day. Does not help with the impression at all.
Anyway, me is Aggi. Been reading your blog of recent becos of Blinky. Hehe. Write more soon.
Cheers.
Aggi-
yes. we at the call centre put you on hold on purpose. because we simply enjoy people hurling abuses at us. no, we have not been answering continuous phone calls for the past 7 hours while earning a minimal wage rate. and because we were picking our noses and playing "flick the gold" (while the counter menacingly flashes red meaning we are once again going to get screwed by the management), we cannot hope to recieve decent treatment,basic respect and a little patience. yes i understand you pay good money for the equipment/phone/cable/internet/item/show/banking service/cab but i'm sorry the people you generously donate your money to are unable to come to the phone right now.
yes i work in a call centre. i'm busy at the moment and will ignore you later.
shtick...hahaha...i know you work hard and all, and i'm not blaming you per se...but i think it's the whole system lah hor? i was actually quite patient in fact...i waited quite a long time you know...25 minutes too late? haha.
ayes...i know it must have been frustrating for you but what i meant was the o's also no control when there is an influx of calls from pple who are late for work or can't stand taking buses/trains mah...
hur hur.. somehow i imagine you squirming uncomfortably while cussing the perils of not knowing who or what kind of people reads your blog... mwahahahahahhahahaha..
in case you are wondering, i'm not an angry chopper-welding psychopathic call centre minion.
or am i...=P
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