Monday, December 19, 2005

siglap wannabe - hong kong cafe

scene 1: walking towards makan place
time: 2100hrs (after playstation-2ing at joe's place again)
characters: joe, moby sky, rod (joe's housemate)

rod: hey, let's go to hong kong cafe!
joe: sky, how?
moby: what's it like? got what to eat there?
joe: they sell instant noodles for $6 per bowl...but it's kinda like a siglap wannabe loh...
moby: wow...that sounds pretty good...
joe: actually the last and only other time i came here with rod, i said that this cafe would be one of those places where people go for one time only...
moby: and here you are giving them repeat business...
joe: just don't try the baked rice.

scene 1 end.


scene 2: hong kong cafe, 378/380 east coast road
time: 2110hrs
characters: joe, moby, rod, waiter-trainee, hot-chic-with-boyfriend


moby: hmmm...so what's good here?
joe: just don't order the baked rice lah.
rod: i think i'll have the baked spaghetti...*totally oblivious to the conversation*...by the way, the honey lemon drink here is damn good.
joe: i'll have the "famous deepfried chicken and pork cutlet curry rice"...and i'll trust rod on the honey lemon drink.
moby: ok...i'll have the "famous beef fried beef hor fun"...and the "shanghai hot and spicy soup".
waiter-trainee: ok...sure.

*joe, moby and rod check out crowd*
joe: eh, that hot chic sitting there with the boyfriend is checking us out leh...
moby: aiyah...she's looking at you only lah...don't shy lah.
joe: of course i know lah...then look at you meh?
moby: hahahaha...ok loh...you win loh!!

*waiter-trainee comes back with joe's order as moby looks on*
moby: wah...looks quite good leh.
joe: yeah man...but let me try it first.
*moby's order comes as joe looks on...*
joe: i definitely wouldn't eat that...look at all the bean sprouts.
moby: yeah man...damn...it's a bit overwhelming.
*rod's order comes as everyone looks at his miniscule plate of baked something or other*
rod: wah...so big ah.
moby: eh joe, how's your's? mine's quite bland and tasteless leh...ooi waiter-trainee, can bring me some pepper, vinegar and green chili for everything i have on my plate here?
waiter-trainee: ok...
*hot-chic-with-boyfriend sneaks peek at joe*
joe: same here...quite bad lah...argh...rod, why you everytime wanna waste your money here one?!!
rod: i think i'll order something else after i finish this...it's not enough lah.
*moby and joe roll eyes in bemusement*

*20 minutes later*
joe: eh, the chic keeps looking at us leh!!!
moby: wah lan eh...stop it already lah...told you already...you wanna ego, then ego yourself lah...don't need to bring me into it...but then again, she's quite well endowed hor? hahaha.
joe: mooooo...hahaha. (sorry joe, i'm the scriptwriter here...haha.)
moby: the food sucks by the way....siglap my ass...
joe: i second that...but i said siglap wannabe hor...
*hot-chic-with-boyfriend sneaks peek at joe*
rod: where's my beef soup noodles ah?

scene 2 end.


scene 3: hong kong cafe, 378/380 east coast road
time: 2230hrs
characters: joe, moby, rod, waiter-trainee, pizza hut delivery boy, hot-chic-with-boyfriend

*enter pizza hut delivery boy carrying two pan pizzas and a bottle of coke*
waiter-trainee: thank you, i'll take that...here, keep the change.
pizza hut delivery boy: thanks 'bang! bye!
*exit pizza hut delivery boy on his motorbike*

*moby and joe look at each other increduously*
moby: did you see that???
joe: yeah.
moby: what the fuck?? can't they even eat their own food???
joe: apparently not. *gives rod "the look"*
moby: they can't even drink their own coke!!!
joe: i can imagine why... *looks bitterly at his very diluted glass of honey lemon, and then disapprovingly again at rod*
*hot-chic-with-boyfriend sneaks peek at joe*
rod: where the hell is my beef soup noodles???
moby & joe: wah lan eh...

*enter pizza hut delivery boy again, hands something to waiter-trainee*
pizza hut delivery boy: eh, sorry i forgot your parmesan cheese ah...
waiter-trainee: next time don't forget lah...must wait till i call you back one! knn, i give you tip some more leh!
pizza hut delivery boy: you all don't have cheese here meh?
waiter-trainee: don't so kaypoh lah...

moby: well done...
joe: incredible...
*hot-chic-with-boyfriend sneaks peek at joe*
*rod eating his beef soup noodles*

joe: i'm never coming here again.
moby: neither am i...but that hot chic keeps checking you out leh.
joe: yeah, i know...at least she's got better taste in guys than in her food...
moby: muahahahahaha!

scene 3 end.

play end.

10 comments:

Jo said...

actually hor, the FRENCH TOAST looks damn good...

maybe i'll go back just for the FRENCH TOAST? haha...

About the PIZZA HUT delivery - damn cock...where got cafe staff order pizza to eat...shouldn't they be eating the cafe's food?

unless they dun dare to eat their food...or the food is just too crappy for human consumption...

another thing i hate about the place is the service. The waiters looked damn lost, very blur & not friendly at all...

moby sky said...

jo...hahaha...you just wanna find that chic right??? ok lah...i'll go back with you too...in case i feel like having pizza hut...we try ordering a super supreme next time ok? hahahaha.

Anonymous said...

ain't that place supposed to be famous? *ponder*

miss ene said...

Hey ! I was at Hong Kong cafe over the weekend ! The baked rice with chicken (or something like that) is pretty yum. Just so you know, I can't make myself pay money to eat instant noodles at a cafe so I *never* order anything that's on the instant noodles menu.

But you know what's my fav ? The ba chor mee stall right *beside* it. It's the bestest of the bestest. So I'd go eat my ba chor mee and then head over to HKG Cafe to drink milk tea.

:)

moby sky said...

lee...we felt that it's overhyped leh...nothing great about the food...tasteless, bland and diluted.

ene...hahaha...i actually suggested going to the ba chor mee first...but they all didn't wanna listen...so we sat at hkg cafe after our "splendid" meal, willing their would-be-customers to go to the ba chor mee place instead. hahaha.

Anonymous said...

haha this is so funny. especially the waiter part. you didnt make that up lar hor? :p

but seriously, heard that the cafe is famous!! is its menu something like the one at taka basement2?

miss ene said...

Noooo...don't go to the Taka B2 one.

*start of rant*

The service is HORRIBLE and the food is even worst. The waiting staff ignored us even when we were the only ones waiting for a table.

They ignored us again when we wanted to order, only to grudgingly come over to bark "tell me the number ! not the item name!" at us.

They then took forever to give us serviettes when there were none at the table.

And ignored our attempts to pay for our meal at the end of it.

And I also noticed that every waiting staff there seemed to be really busy ignoring everyone as much as they could, so it wasn't only our table they didn't like.

Ok, rant over. I still like my ba chor mee.

GraceYuMommy said...

ha ha the part about the Pizza Hut delivery is funny. ya boy, order super supreme from there next time. ha ha

ene, i agree Central cafe at Taka B2 is not great. i will not go back there again. food is not anything like the real HK stuff. and the ambience is very lousy. HK cafe along East Coast Road (Siglap?) is not bad like the fried beef kway teow, boluo bun etc. still, like you, i'd always opt for chai chee ba chor mee.

Sky and gang, why don't you guys eat at Siglap the next time? wide choice of restaurants and cuisines etc.

ps. i like the cheesecake from Zuko!

Anonymous said...

Damn it MOBY good job on the play -The story is so Joe, so Rod, and so MOBY!

Exactly the ever-skeptical JOE; the ever-unlistening ROD; the ever write-a-story-with-a-funny-twist MOBY.

Gota give it to JOE for his high selectiveness (despite it being Katong!); to ROD for his low criteria for good food (contrast to his gadgets); and MOBY for simply being the guy who always boost the ego of the friend who sits next to him.

Have a nice week leading up to XMAS. Seeking for permission to hang @ Lor K this weekend.

moby sky said...

farewellwaltz...hmmm...i really don't have high hopes for the taka b2 stuff lah...

ene...you basically described what i felt at east coast road last night loh...quite bad lah...sigh...

graceyumummy....i would have been more than happy to go to siglap, but my friends were adament on going to this HKG place...i regret.

loe...wah lan eh...i was expecting you on sunday loh!!! knn, you have to go and entertain people and all loh...of course you're welcome lah...you better don't play me out again hor!!! and btw, who say i wanna boost joe's ego? he's got enough chics peeking at him what...muahahaha. =)