lost

i was leaving my house today to go to joseph's place today, when i saw this kid around 4-5 years old, running down the slope of our apartment estate. he was crying and looking very scared. so i stopped the car alongside him and asked him what was wrong. he said that he couldn't find his mother. so i asked him where he stayed and all...apparently he stayed in the same estate as me. i told him to go back up to his house and wait for his mother instead of running around. but he just ignored what i said and kept asking me if i knew where the police were. i told him that i could try to look for the security guard (cuz i didn't think that the men in blue were required yet), and told him to go back up to his house while i went to find the guards. and then i drove off to search for the security guards. when i reached the supposed guardhouse at the entrance of ntu, there was no one to be seen inside. i called "100" to ask for the ntu guardhouse number, but they only had the ntu's main line, which was busy when i tried calling. pathetic. anyway, i rushed back to my estate to find the small kid. he was no where to be seen already. i went up the hill, around the playground roundabout twice, down the hill, around to the back part of our estate, came back up the hill...but i still couldn't find the little guy. i even stopped at the playground to ask this chinaman and his sons whether they had seen a small boy wandering around crying his head off. he told me no, but he'd keep a lookout for me. i felt so fucking guilty that i didn't personally escort the kid up to his house myself. he didn't wanna get in my car (i guess his mother taught him well), but i could have just stepped out and walked him up myself. i felt so fucking bad that i didn't even ask him what his name was....i felt so shitty that i didn't know what happened to this kid...cuz seriously he was so distressed...just running around aimlessly shouting and crying for his mother.

i had a bad experience when i was a kid too. i was in a shopping mall in the states when i was around 6. suddenly i couldn't find my parents. i was stunned and very uneasy with all these strangers walking around, all looking very fierce. i started to panic, but i didn't cry (i was well disciplined by my father even back then...big boys don't cry). anyway, to cut a long story short, my name was announced on the intercom system to the whole mall and my parents eventually came to fetch me. everything worked out (though i got scolded for running around too much)...but the fear was there. which is kinda why i feel so bad for this kid. i don't know where he is...even now...but i hope that he's safely tucked into his bed already. i'd never forgive myself if i see "missing person" notices pasted on the streetlamps tomorrow.